The Reckoning Cont.

I asked myself today if I could do it all over again,

If I could relive my life....

My answer was a resounding and confirmed NO.

I would rather die than have to endure this pain over again.

My life was unbearable at times, it tore me into a billion pieces that I'm still picking up on the side of the road.

The winds of life wreak havoc on the tides of the reservoir,

Stillness turns to current.

The ashes are lost, the reminder of the love that once-was, vanished.

Is the meaning to move on, there's nothing left to rise from?

The birds sing songs of connection,

Their voices pierce the stillness of the blue Colorado sky.

The water crashes against the new growth of an island in the distance,

An island that one day I can walk to, the water levels will lower as they always do.

Fluctuating with the seasons,

Marinating with the skies.

Further down the path,

I find a patterned horseshoe of rocks -

Gleaming out to a perfect view of the scenery.

I adventured into Mother Earth today to find solace...

To find comfort in the river of grief.

The reservoir holds answers - in its water, in its movement, in its inhabitants, in its touch and scent.

I am here, I am here, I am still here.

Miracles upon the survival of trauma,

Resilience running through my veins, pain soaring through my skin.

Releasing into mother earth's magic and strength,

If flowers can grow from the crevasse of the rock,

Then I can rise from the absence of ashes.

I am ready, I surrender, I am alive.

It's a spectrum of all, none, and everything in between.

The ever-loving, forgiving, and magical mother of the elements: Earth.

Her gentle fierceness reassures me there is more joy to be found, held, and felt in this life.