Traveller's New Moon

I am open and ready to receive.

To not numb. To be present.

Resiliently present.

Letting go of the weight of darkness, as it was never meant to be held.

Instead, learning how to swim in the depths of my darkness, led by the moonlight's beam of mystery and chaos. 

Protecting myself within the boundaries of health; picking the nettle leaves to fuel my vitality. 

Reminding myself this is not the end, nor the beginning. 

It's a transformation.

There is no beginning, middle, or end in the cocoon of metamorphosis. 

I am the chrysalis in the lab of alchemy. 

It's the goo, decay, rebirth, and cycling of ancestral blood that lights my seeking.

I take the lantern from Hecate's hand and accept her quest to step into the underworld.

Feeling connected by the familiarity of my soul's chapter in the cages of hell;

But now, I'm accompanied with sadness and grief --

-> a fertile seed planted into the womb of the underworld that has left my earthly womb barren for the moment. 

A barrenness that is too painful to be forgotten, but one with the power and force to ground my path into the underworld. 

This grounding that I've defined as a curse up until this Traveller's New Moon. 

My seeking of knowledge has led me to the quest of transforming my curse into a blessing. 

A blessing that is not given to all, nor one that I wish on my worst enemy. 

The familiarity of the underworld and the suffering to hold the key and lantern of grief - is also a blessing that allows the back and forth of travel. 

I can come and go as I please, as I need - from the underworld to this Mother Earth. 

A gift of shaman's that I did not know was in reach of my bruised and bloodied hands until the moon's beam shined its light on my darkness.

The light from within that was never gone.

Only faded, but never gone.

Wrapping my hands in cloth and cleansing the blood and death in the stream of rebirth.

My cauldron holds the alchemy needed for my quest, my bandaged hand sprinkles nettle leaves in the grieving smoke of sorrow and loss. 

I am open and ready to receive.

To not numb. To be present.

Resiliently present.